Positivity is one of the most misunderstood concept in society, and often people can be misled by what they think it means. Given that life is not always a picnic, I think its fair to say that sometimes, being completely positive, without acknowledging certain issues, challenges, struggles, barriers-however you want to put it-can be dangerous and useless.
Everything is about balance. That’s how I see it anyway. Maybe I just see it that way because of certain experiences that I’ve had-like losing my Mum. I mean, even though I’d give up my job and my left arm to have my Mum back, I have to say, that my experience of losing her has strangely impacted me in a positive-ish way. By saying this, I don’t mean that after losing her I became super happy and started making amazing achievements, but I mean that the general trauma of losing her actually gave me some resilience.
But still, every day I miss my Mum, and wish that she was still here. Because after all, she was my sole support in my life and gave me comfort and security. She was an amazing, extraordinary Mother.
But back to the point I want to make. Sometimes as people, we like to focus on what is good, because we feel better about ourselves. Of course, happiness is a lovely emotion, and we all like to feel it. But its one of many emotions, and we can’t rely on that one blissful feeling alone, to be great at who we are.
By being constantly optimistic without recognising the barriers we had to climb to get to where we are, we fail to address what can hold some people back. Dwelling on the negatives. In order to fully recover from something difficult (and we all go through something difficult at some point) you need to face it, acknowledge it. See it as a reason to build on strengths. Its easier said than done, but in the right mindset it can be achievable. And if you find the right time to face those struggles head on, you’ll find yourself a much stronger person on the other side.
I’ll give you an example. I have been suffering OCD since I was about ten. I have experienced awful intrusive thoughts that have paralysed me, and at one point even made me question whether it was even worth living. I would wake up in the morning, and want to go back to sleep, because I’d remember what my mind was like, awake.
Now, even though today I cope pretty well with these thoughts and compulsions, I still have my rough patches. And here is the important thing.
You don’t want to forget those rough patches, because there always will be struggles to deal with in life.
This shouldn’t come as depressing news to you, because if you are prepared and accept the fact that life can be a bit of a jerk sometimes, then it won’t be as awful when you are going through what you do.
The more that difficult situations come as a surprise to you, the harder it will be to manage. That’s in my experience anyway.
It’s great to have a positive attitude to life, and be prepared for whats to come. But don’t get stuck in a knot of glee and think that the key to living is to find absolute contentedness, because its not.
If you have an issue, you should address it in a positive way. If you can’t do that alone, then do it with someone who cares, and pick yourself back up with that support.
I suppose I’m specifically addressing the perceivably happy chappy people here, when I say; don’t feel pressured to conform to what you think you should feel or need to feel. Be honest about your emotional condition. Say you aren’t great, if you aren’t great. Share what you have put up with if you’ve copped a lot of crap. Because its more relatable, and a more powerful way to find a means to success (in whatever shape or form) and fulfilment in life.
That’s my opinion anyway.